Well it is late at night. I should be in bed getting my beauty rest.. I sure do need it. I am waiting on my husband to call from Guam and I thought I would ramble some thoughts on here in the meantime.
Most of you know that we have recently been called of God to leave our church home. I do not think even I realized the gravity of the hurt we experienced when we walked away. Of course there were the differences in theology, the differences of opinion, the angry words and the bitterness that ensued but beyond all that I just felt “homeless.”
I do not think that in those moments, with those wonderful people, I truly realized how special our church family was. This imperfect group of sinners that God drew to together under that roof became a family. We held one another accountable, we spurred one another in growth. We encouraged, loved, and supported one another. If someone was out on any given service it was like there was a missing link. No one had to work at loving each other. We just did.
Walking away was a very clear calling for us. We knew that God did not want us in a place where the Word of God would no longer be preached or be allowed to be preached in its entirety. All the political and sinful drama is not pertinent so I will save you the time. But we knew we could no longer be a part of that. A good deal many of us walked away.
For over 2 months now we have been bandaging our wounds at different local churches. Quick fixes to heal our broken hearts. None of us aware of how deep our connections were and how painful this truly is.
For the past 2 weeks however, God has ordained for me to visit in a church where he has used this body to begin healing me. There is no “perfect church” except the spotless bride when our Groom comes to get us. I was not searching for one either. But this church by simply being themselves and loving one another has restored my hope in finding a “family” once again.
I feel so blessed. Most people are never find the fellowship and love that I had at my previous church and I am possibly finding it twice. It may not be with the same people but it is with the same minded people. God has grown me so much in a year. I deserve nothing from him other than death, and yet he chooses to continue to bless me with fantastic Christian friendships.
The healing has begun. I am throwing out the bandaids and attitude of quick fixes. I am allowing my heart to open up to this new group and I am allowing God to use me however he will here for his Glory alone!